Family Portrait

LINK FOR MUSIC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvpQsPKEwbw

In 2001, one of the most eye opening songs in pop culture history was released for everyone to hear: Family Portrait by P!nk. The song focused on the ever to real and growing issues with parental conflict and divorce as well as the children in the family feeling confused and depressed. P!nk released this song intending to express to her broken family all the thoughts and feelings she had buried as a child. What came from it though is eye opening.

One of the most common stories people hear of today is divorce and its effect on the children. Parents arguing and divorcing alone is a conflict that has many possible tactics, communication issues, and goals. So, this song had brought some light to this issue from the outside looking in. One of the early lyrics in the song, “You fight about money, about me and my brother, and this I come home to, this is my shelter,” (P!nk, 2001) starts to provide a visual for how parents’ arguing affects the children. P!nk is saying how unwelcoming a home would be where there is constant argument and dislike. By using this line so early in the beginning, it really grabs hold of the listener and, if they are someone who has experienced a similar situation, shows what it feels like to have to deal with such a harsh upbringing.

Another part of the conflict is how children tend to react when parents fight and are verbally abusive to each other. Many times today, children may be sent to counselors or other support to deal with the results of parents divorcing, feelings and thoughts parents might not consider will happen when arguing in front of their son or daughter. Around the 1:50 marker, P!nk sings, “I ran away today, ran from the noise, ran away. Don’t wanna go back to that place, but don’t have no choice, no way,” (P!nk, 2001). This line hits home for a lot of children and parents who are currently experiencing this conflict or have in the past. Being a child who went through a parental split, you are willing to give anything to see the two people you love most be happy, but instead they continuously fight which causes this urge to not want to be home. This idea of running from a pain you and your family is experiencing pops in the head of most kids because it’s an avoidance tactic of dealing with the reality of the situation. Another place you can hear this in the song is when P!nk sings, “In our family portrait, we look pretty happy. Let’s play pretend, let’s act like it comes naturally,” (P!nk, 2001). The idea of acting like there is no problem and pretening to be happy is another way avoidance appears regularly in divorced children’s lives.

Lastly, a conflict metaphor that is repeated over and over in this song is conflict being war. In the chorus it reads, “It ain’t easy growing up in World War III, never knowin’ what love could be,” (P!nk, 2001). When conflict is treated like war there a key elements, such as aggressiveness and the need of a winner. In parents’ fights and divorces, these are some of the most common things to notice because of how often it turns into something like war. Issues like who gets to have primary custody of the kids and who gets the house become vicious fights taking a toll on the entire family.

Family Portrait became an anthem for anyone who had lived through a breaking family or who is currently going through it. It opened the eyes of millions of people, including the intended audience, P!nk’s parents. The conflict that happens between the parents, the parents and children, and within the child themselves became a much more open topic after this song was released, which I believe was the intention. P!nk’s ability to put the conflict that happens during a divorce or broken home into words appealed to many and affected an entire generation.

P!nk (2001). Family Portrait. On M!ssundaztood [CD]. Location: Arista Records, Inc. 2002.